The Power in Paying Attention to the Voice of Self-Doubt

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My ego is filled with self-doubt. She questions, analyzes, and overthinks everything. She’s obsessed with control, and finds it difficult to let go. She gets attached easily, and feels uncomfortable with uncertainty. She’s afraid of failing, and unceasingly worries about whether what she’s doing is right or alluring. She demands perfection, and has a tendency to feel less-than. She gets stuck in fear, and does everything possible to avoid feeling pain, being seen, or getting hurt. ⠀

Her voice used to be so loud that I thought it was my own. She ruled me, influenced me, moved me, without my even knowing—while I lived blindly, blissfully, unwittingly unaware.⠀

Until somehow, somewhere, something inside me split. ⠀

I started paying attention to her thoughts and the cruel way she’d talk. I sat with her, listened to her, and felt the way she made me feel she when she’d speak. I got used to her beliefs and her tendencies—familiar with the limiting ways in which she moved, and lived, and breathed.⠀

It’s funny how it works—the shift soft, subtle, and almost always, seemingly imperceptible. ⠀

The results incomparably delectable.⠀

Somehow, in some way, this self-critical, judgmental voice becomes muffled by the gentle focus of awareness, attention, observing, and allowing.⠀

And, what we’re left with is the soft, tender, delightful truth of who we really are.