I’m going to let you in on a little secret. It might be something you already know, or suspect, but I’m going to say it anyway. In case you need to hear it: No one knows what they’re doing. ⠀
No one has it all figured out. No one has it “all together.” No one is living in a blissed-out, self-assured state of utter knowing in every single moment. We all feel fear. We all feel unsure. We all have moments where we feel insecure. We’re all simply trying our best to deal with the fact that we don’t really know anything, and we never will.⠀
When I was younger, I thought my parents knew everything. Or rather, I had the firm, resolute, unbending expectation that they should know everything. I can remember one moment in particular. My mom, my sister, and I were in an airport heading on vacation. My mom was trying to figure out where our gate was, and she didn’t know where to go. I was SO frustrated with her. And embarrassed. (I was at that super awesome teenage-girl age where every single thing my parents did was embarrassing. Like talking and breathing. And my mom talked SO loud. Side note: my mom once told me that when I’d complain about her talking too loud, she’d intentionally talk louder. That made me laugh out loud. What a wonderful way to deal with moody teenagers. I’m going to do the same thing if I have kids one day.).⠀
Anyway, so there I was in the airport totally annoyed at my mom for talking and for not knowing everything...⠀
And now I don’t know anything. And, when I don’t know where to go in airports, I have to use MY very loud voice to ask for help.
It’s easy to think that everyone else knows more than us. That they’ve cracked some code we can’t see, let alone decipher. But there is no code. Not really. Life is always going to have some element of uncertainty. There’s always going to be something we don’t know. The trick isn’t to try to figure it all out or to plan for every possible alternative. It’s to find stability within the ever-changing, ever-present unknown. It’s to understand that we’re never going to know everything, and that that’s okay. And maybe, even, hopefully, to realize that that’s the fun of it. It’s the whole point.