How I Work through Heavy, Tender, Painful, Dark, Difficult Emotions

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When I feel low, I go for a walk. I listen to the sounds of nature and focus my attention on the world around me. The gentle movement eases the energy in my body. It calms mind. It soothes my soul. But I don’t do it to escape my emotions.  I don’t fight the feelings and I don’t resist them. I don’t try to make them disappear. I don’t desperately seek relief. I understand this experience is something I must go through. It’s happening for a reason. It’s serving a purpose. It’s something I need to experience in order to let go of the energies I want and need to clear. I let the thoughts and emotions move around inside me, circulating within my body and mind. I hold space for them to exist, while I move and I breathe. I surrender. I accept. I allow. ⠀

I also notice, observe, and inquire. Allowing myself to feel what I feel with a detached, focused, distanced perspective. The emotions may feel immense and immediate—intimately intertwined with the very foundations of my psyche—but my perspective and view on what’s happening comes from a separated, removed place that resides outside of it.⠀

I’d rather be aware of my dark spaces—despite the pain or discomfort they trigger within me—than pretend like I don’t have them at all. Ignoring them doesn’t stop them from existing. It just prevents us from uncovering the deeper, core, underlying issues. We don’t have to be ruled by old fears, pain, or trauma, but we can’t move through them or release them, unless we’re willing to acknowledge and accept that they exist.⠀

The process of examining our shadowed spaces isn’t easy. It can be painful, even brutal. It takes courage, boldness, patience, and resilience to inquire into them. To be willing to inquire into them. It also takes tenderness. We have to be soft, patient, and gentle as we consciously hold space for the experience to unfold.⠀

Our uncomfortable emotions are signals—signs telling us there’s something we need to look at. Something we need to learn. Opportunities for clearing, expansion, and growth. But to experience that growth, we have to be willing to allow ourselves to feel through and experience what we’re feeling. To surrender. To accept. To allow.