Everything we feel is always 100% okay. Pause for a moment. Let these words sink in. The reason we hesitate to let ourselves feel certain feelings, is because we hold judgment toward them. We believe they’re somehow wrong or undesirable. Unworthy. Even reprehensible. We have a tendency to categorize everything: good, bad; okay, not okay; rational, irrational; makes sense, doesn’t make sense; reasonable, unreasonable; justified, unjustified. We also judge ourselves for the thoughts and emotions that don’t match the idealized versions of how we believe we’re supposed to think and feel.⠀
But thoughts and feelings just are. They just happen. Yes, some feel better than others, but they all just exist.⠀
Self-inquiry by definition requires an active willingness to look deeper into ourselves. To seek to understand how we think, what we feel, and why. It’s movement. It’s action.⠀
But maybe, sometimes, we can simply allow what’s happening to happen. What’s existing to be. We can let our moments be moments. Our thoughts be thoughts. Our feelings be feelings. Maybe we don’t have to analyze everything all of the time. What if we said, “I feel this…I desire this…I envision this…I want this…and it’s okay.” Period. Full stop. No need for further insight or deeper reflection. No need to probe or dissect. No need to categorize or justify; rationalize, internalize, externalize, or understand. No need to do or pursue. Just simply allow.⠀
Even if the thought or emotion isn’t one we want to have. “I feel this and it makes me feel badly. I feel this and it makes me feel badly, and I want to feel differently, and it’s okay. It’s all okay.” Imagine saying this. Imagine how it would feel to say this. The lightness. The freeness. The spaciousness.⠀
I’m not saying we shouldn’t ever inquire into our thoughts or feelings—if you’ve read anything I’ve ever written, you know I’m a huge proponent of diving into the deeper, underlying truths, reasons, and motivations for the thoughts we think and the emotions we feel. There’s a time and a place for everything.
But maybe, sometimes, for even a moment, we can open up space for just the soft, pure allowance of simple recognition.